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Scene 4: On The Deck Of The SS Thinking
Mrs Crusoe, Robinson, Captain Calypso, Alice, Blackheart, Sword, Cutlass, Zara, Gaston and sailors
(The curtain’s open to reveal the interior of the SS Thinking. There are two sets of stairs angled onto the deck from the wings on stage left and right. A platform is just behind the stairs and on this is the wheel of the ship. Behind that is a short wall, to represent the side of the ship, and behind that the ocean. There are baskets of laundry in a huddle at the foot of the stairs on stage right. On either side of the wheel are old chests. All of this may need to be put in place during the scene or the end of the scene before, due to lack positioning of other sets.)
(Mrs Crusoe, Robinson, Alice and Calypso, sing there version of ‘When I was One’)
Robinson: When I was 15 I was very keen, the day I went to sea, I jumped aboard Calypso’s ship and he said to me; we’re going this way, that way forwards and backwards over the Irish Sea, a bottle of rum to fill my tum and that’s the life for me!
Calypso: When I was 54 I walked into a door, the day I went to sea, I jumped aboard my ship and I said to me; we’re going this way, that way forwards and backwards over the Irish Sea, a bottle of rum to fill my tum and that’s the life for me!
Mrs Crusoe: When I was 20...
Mrs Crusoe: When I was 21....
Robinson: ...Tell them the truth!
Mrs Crusoe: (Very fast as she is embarrassed about her age.) When I was 55 I went for a dive, the day I went to sea, I jumped aboard Calypso’s ship and he said to me; we’re going this way that way forwards and backwards over the Irish Sea, a bottle of rum to fill my tum and that’s the life for me!
Alice: When I was 16 I fell in love (Pointing at Robinson.), the day I went to sea, I jumped aboard Calypso’s ship and he said to me; we’re going this way that way forwards and backwards over the Irish Sea, a bottle of rum to fill my tum and that’s the life for me!
(End of sing-song.)
Robinson: Well this is a lovely ship Captain Calypso. Remind me what it’s called?
Calypso: The SS Thinking.
Mrs Crusoe: Eh...eh....eh.....eh! The SS Sinking. Oh my cod! (A fish is thrown on stage.)
Calypso: No it’s called the SS Thinking, well it used to be called the Lucky Star, but then it hit some rocks and then it was called the Happy Cruiser but it crashed into the harbour. And now it’s called the SS Thinking and it’s not sunk....yet!
Mrs Crusoe: All I heard there was the part about hitting rocks, crashing into a harbour and possibly sinking. I’m sorry Robinson but ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here’. (Silence) Come on then. Come and take me. Come on! Come and take me! I’m pleading, please, I don’t want to die...
Robinson: Well you’ve not got too much longer to go!
Mrs Crusoe: I’m too young to die...
Calypso: Sixty-five is a grand old age. And it’s easy to chisel into your grave stone...
Mrs Crusoe: And it will be easy to write...I better not say that. Age restrictions and all that.
Robinson: Oh mum, you’re not a celebrity. The only way you can get back to dry land without staying on the ship is by swimming back to shore.
Mrs Crusoe: Deal.
Calypso: You’re not being serious?
Mrs Crusoe: I am. (She gets ready to jump overboard.)
Calypso: Look Maggie, come back to my cabin and I will make you feel better.
Mrs Crusoe: Deal!
Alice: You can’t say deal after you’ve already dealt.
Mrs Crusoe: That’s only on the TV show. Oh come on then sailor!
(Mrs Crusoe, Calypso, Robinson and Alice exit; Blackheart, Sword and Cutlass enter)
Blackheart: Ha ha ha. Hello again! We’re just discussing how we shall get rid of the Crusoe’s now that Cutlass sat on the hammer and flattened it. (Blackheart shows the audience the deflated hammer.)
Sword: I think we should pull the plug on the ship.
Blackheart: Ship’s don’t have plugs. They only have them in pantomimes and this isn’t a pantomime, is it boys and girls? (Audience reaction) Oh no it’s not! (Audience reaction) Oh no it’s not. (Audience reaction) Ok it is. But we’re not doing that. Let’s think of something original...
Sword: ...Pringles original. Mmmmm.
Cutlass: He meant something that no one else has done.
Sword: We’ll coke’s out of the question it’s been done lots of times. It’s been remade by Asda, Tesco, Sainsbury’s and a virgin!
Cutlass: (To the audience.) Forget you heard that mum and dad!
Blackheart: I’ve got it. We’ll... (He goes to reveal his plan but hesitates.)...I’ll keep it a secret because if they (The audience.) find out they will tell Robinson. So it’s all hush for now.
Sword: What is?
Cutlass: How we are going to stop the Crusoe’s from reaching Banana Island.
Sword: Who are the Crusoe’s?
Blackheart/Cutlass: Why do I bother?
(They exit swiftly. Enters Mrs Crusoe with a paper bag in her hand.)
Mrs Crusoe: Hello boys and girls. I’m not doing too well. The ships like a roller coaster. I’ve been sick eight times already and we’ve just left the harbour. Uh oh, here we go again! (She runs to the front of the stage and indicates that she is going to be sick on the audience. She puts her hands into her pockets, fills them with sweets, and then chucks them into the audience while making a retching sound like, she is being sick.) Ah ha ha! You thought! Look at all your faces. I’m feeling much better now, a good old laugh always makes me feel better, but I don’t think I could eat all these sweets. Would you like some more? (Audience reaction.) Oh no you don’t! (Audience reaction.) Oh yes you do! (She throws more sweets into the audience.)
Robinson: Mum. What you doing?
Mrs Crusoe: Just sharing my sweets with the audience.
Robinson: Oh, can I throw one at them.
Mrs Crusoe: Only if you promise to hit...I mean not to hit any of them.
Robinson: Ok mum. I’ll make sure to hit...I mean not to hit anyone. (Robinson takes some sweets from his mum and throws them into the audience) That was fun! Mum did you know Alice was such a good teacher? She’s being teaching me lots of things, she even taught me how to count to five on one hand and five on the other.
Mrs Crusoe: (Sarcastically.) Goodness. She’s a miracle worker. Robinson you don’t know Jack!
Robinson: I do know Jack, he lives next door. He’s our Neighbour! (The Neighbours theme tune plays and Robinson sings along, making the audience join in.)
Mrs Crusoe: That’s what you get at a low cost pantomime. Rubbish jokes and stupid songs and singing. All these writers think they’re so funny! Well I’m ‘Maggie Queen of Jokes’...
Robinson: ...You’re not a Queen, the only queen you could be is ‘Priscilla Queen of the Desert’! A drag queen!!
Mrs Crusoe: Oi you! As I was saying, I’m ‘Maggie Queen of Jokes’ and here’s a sample of one of my jokes. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? (Audience reaction.) Nothing, he just waved!
Robinson: Ah ha ha ha ha! (Becoming serious.) Not funny. So...not... funny!
(Enters Gaston, the chef onboard the ship. This is made clear to the audience through his white apron and tall white hat.)
Gaston: I’m sorry to interrupt your chat Robinson and Mrs Crusoe, I’m Gaston the ship’s chef and I have been asked to tell you this message. Please come quickly! Okay that doesn’t make sense. You see someone has been brought overboard. She looks to of been in the water for quite some time now and Calypso is worried about her as when the boys helped her aboard she was very weak and lifeless.
Mrs Crusoe: (Eyeing up Gaston.) Oh, have we met yet. I’d like to get to know you better.
Gaston: (Scared.) Maybe some other time Mrs Crusoe, but right now we need to go and help the poor lass who has been washed aboard.
Robinson: Oh I hope Sparkle’s alright.
Mrs Crusoe: What? What about sparklers?
Robinson: Oh it’s okay mum I was just thinking of a new joke about...sparklers.
Mrs Crusoe: Oh come on then, share it!
Gaston: I don’t think this is the most appropriate time do tell jokes. Now please, come along.
Mrs Crusoe: Oh come on Robinson, tells us the joke.
Robinson: Uh...oh...em! But it’s not very good. What do you get when you cross a sparkler and a firework?
Mrs Crusoe: I don’t know. What do you get when you cross a sparkler and a firework?
Robinson: Bonfire night! (To audience.) I told you it was rubbish.
(Gaston and Mrs Crusoe exit shaking their heads in disbelief. Enters Sparkle from over the other side of the ship.)
Sparkle: I’ m alright Robinson, don’t worry. The person that’s been washed aboard is a girl called Zara, another victim of Blackhearts cruelty. She was pushed overboard his ship after she refused to cook him starfish for his dinner. Robinson, you need to save her, she may be able to help us. And remember to watch out for Blackheart, he’s been lurking about the ship planning to destroy your every move. I must go, I need to get back into the water quickly. I am becoming a bit dehydrated and a bit saggy. Bye now. (She exits.)
Robinson: Bye Sparkle. Bye boys and girls, I must help Zara. Bye.
(Robinson exits swiftly, during a short blackout. This time is used for Zara, Calypso, Mrs Crusoe, Gaston, Alice and sailors to enter.)
(Lights up. Calypso, Alice, Mrs Crusoe, Gaston and the sailors are huddled around Zara, who is lying on the ground.)
Mrs Crusoe: Is she ok?
Captain: She’s breathing but she’s swallowed a lot of water and possibly a fish or two.
(At that moment Zara coughs and spits out two fish.)
Mrs Crusoe: (Putting the fish in her handbag.) Oh that will do nicely for supper.
(Zara coughs again and spits out an old boot.)
Mrs Crusoe: That will do nicely for wee Ina’s man’s birthday present, he’s missing a shoe. Oh this is better than going to the sale at Matalan.
Alice: Do you think she will make it?
Calypso: Of course. She just needs the kiss of life.
Gaston: I’ll do it. Many people have said I’m a good kisser.
Calypso: I’m sure you are but this needs someone more experienced.
(Robinson runs on.)
Mrs Crusoe: Oh there you are. We need your help. Give her the kiss of life. She needs our help, if she doesn’t get it she could...D...I...Y! (All looks at Mrs Crusoe bemused.)
Robinson: You mean D...I...E!
Mrs Crusoe: That’s it. That doesn’t matter, hurry up and give her the kiss of life.
(Everyone parts so that Robinson can get to Zara.
Robinson: Oh yes. I’m not complaining.
Alice: Oh I don’t think that’s a good idea Robinson. We don’t know where she’s been. She could have...rabies or something.
Calypso: I don’t think so Alice, is something wrong?
Alice: (Angrily.) No. I just don’t think he should kiss her when we don’t know where she’s been.
Calypso: I see your problem Alice. I do (Alice realises that he knows that she likes Robinson), but if someone doesn’t give her the kiss of life quickly they she may not make it.
Alice: (Sulking.) Fine. Kiss her then.
Robinson: (He bends down to kiss Zara.) Here goes.
(They pair kiss. Zara wakes up.)
Zara: Thank you.
Robinson: My pleasure! (Away from Zara.) I’ve kissed a girl and I liked it...
Mrs Crusoe: Did it taste of cherry Chap Stick?
Robinson: No, it tastes of fish. Yuck!
Alice: I told you, we don’t know where she’s been.
(The Sailors wrap Zara in towels and sit her on a chair, they exit leaving Robinson, Calypso, Mrs Crusoe and Alice with her on the deck)
Calypso: So what’s your name? Oh, I’m so sorry, I should have introduced myself first. I’m Captain Calypso, the Captain of this ship the SS Thinking.
Zara: Nice to meet you. I’m Zara. Zara Pineapple.
Mrs Crusoe: (Thinking Zara is saying she looks like a pineapple) I am not a pineapple.
Robinson: No she said her name was Zara...Pineapple. Not you are a pineapple!
Mrs Crusoe: Sorry, my hearings a bit...
Robinson: ...selective. (Mrs Crusoe hits Robinson.)
Mrs Crusoe: It’s a bit weak.
Zara: That’s okay. Oh sorry... (Shouting.) THAT’S OK!
Mrs Crusoe: It’s not that bad. I’m not completely deaf.
Captain: So how did you end up in the water in the first place?
Zara: Well, I was swimming alone in the water when I saw this ship and thought I would go aboard for some food, I’d been swimming for some time and needed something to get my energy back. But when I got onboard it turned out that the ship was not like this one, with helpful passengers like yourselves, but a pirate ship. I was taken to the ship’s captain and for sneaking onto his ship he wanted me to cook for him, like some sort of slave, but I told him to get stuffed. The next thing I knew I was thrown overboard and that’s all I can remember.
Mrs Crusoe: Oh what a shame. You’ll need something to eat then. I’ll call for the chef. Gaston!
Gaston: (Who has been standing right beside Mrs Crusoe all this time.) Yes Mrs Crusoe?
Mrs Crusoe: (She jumps back in shock.) Oh I didn’t know you where there. Could you please get some food for Miss Pineapple!
Gaston: Are you a vegetarian Zara?
Zara: No. I love a good piece of bacon, bacon on a roll. Mmmmm! And turkey, and steak, and lamb, and chops, and...(She gets excited and accidently hits Robinson on the forehead.) SPAM!
Robinson: (In a high pitched voice.) SPAM! Sore SPAM!
Zara: No, a nice Richmond’s sausage will do.
Mrs Crusoe: Gaston bring her a large plate of every type of meat we have onboard.
Gaston: Yes Mrs Crusoe. I’ll be just a moment.
(Gaston exits, then enters with a large turkey on a plate.)
Gaston: Here you go. One delicious turkey with potatoes, carrots, onions, gravy, and it’s stuffed with sausages, Richmond’s sausages. (He hands the late to Zara who nearly drops it it’s that heavy.)
Zara: Oh thank you, I don’t think I’ll be hungry for some time. I’m sure the food here is much better than on the pirate ship.
Calypso: He sounds bad that Pirate that kicked you off his ship...
(Blackheart pops his head from the wings.)
Blackheart: ...he’s bad, he’s bad, he’s really, really bad!
(Blackheart disappears again.)
Captain: Who was that? Boys and girls did you see who it was? (Audience reaction.) Who?
Robinson: (In a whisper.) So that’s what he looks like.
Zara: That’s the captain of the boat I was thrown off.
Captain: What’s he doing on our ship? He’s a stowaway!
Blackheart: Well I just thought I would pop aboard and see how you were doing. I thought you would like to maybe go for a swim and relax, and while you do so, I’ll look after the ship for you. Isn’t that a good idea boys and girls? (Audience reaction.) Aah shut up!
Robinson: Not on your Nelly, Blackfart!
Blackheart: It’s Blackheart and how do you know my name?
Robinson: Sparkle the Magical Mermaid told me about your wicked ways.
Blackheart: What that silly fish. I thought she was dead!
Robinson: Well she’s not. She said that you overheard me talking about finding the treasure and that you had snuck onboard our ship, trying to stop us in our tracks.
Blackheart: Well she’s lying...
Robinson: ...you’re not getting your hands on what is rightfully mine.
Blackheart: You don’t have a say on the matter because you’re going overboard and I’m going to get my hands on the treasure before you.
Robinson: Oh no you’re not.
Blackheart: Oh yes I am.
Robinson: Oh no you’re not.
Blackheart: Oh yes I am.
Mrs Crusoe: Come on just get on with it!
(Blackheart grabs Robinson and holds his hands behind his back and points his sword at the others.)
Blackheart: Any last words dear Robinson?
Robinson: Yes actually. Goodbye everyone. Bye Blackheart! (Robinson pushes Blackheart and he goes overboard.) Bye!
(Blackheart falls overboard and screams back at Robinson, a fake leg flies over the side of the ship and onto the deck.)
Alice: Well I think he’s gone.
Mrs Crusoe: Eaten by a shark.
Calypso: Robinson you seem to know a lot about him, tells us more. Talk, talk...
Mrs Crusoe: (Like the ‘Talk Talk’ advert.)...Like a neon rainbow, oh, oh, oh...
(The next section should be done by the lights flickering on and off, with the listeners to Robinson’s tale making ‘Ooh’ and ‘Aah’ noises and gasping every so often. The lights continue to flicker but stop when Robinson steps forward.)
Robinson: And there is meant to be more pirates onboard, some of Blackheart’s minions.
Calypso: Well come one then, let’s look for them.
(All exit. Sword and Cutlass enter from hiding.)
Sword: Cutlass, this is our chance to sabotage the Crusoe’s plan and sink the ship now that Blackhearts gone.
Cutlass: How exactly will we do that?
(They both look around. After a while a spotlight lights up the ships steering wheel.)
Sword: We shall steer the ship into some rocks, making it sink and putting us at an advantage against the Crusoe’s.
Cutlass: I don’t know. Sound’s risky.
Sword: What are you waiting for? It’s time to sink this ship.
(Sword takes to the helm of the ship.)
Sword: I can see an island over there. It’s surrounded by a sharp cliff face, look, over there (Pointing out into the audience). What does it say on that sign?
Cutlass: It’s says Richard.
Sword: The cliff must be called Richard.
Both: CLIFF RICHARD!
Sword: I’ll crash it into that.
(As Sword steers the ship the wheel falls off.)
Sword: Eh Cutlass. The wheel’s kind of broken off.
Cutlass: Well that’s a good thing, now the ship is bound to sink. Without the wheel the ship will hit the rocks and sink without us.
Sword: Oh yes. Kerching!
(The pair run off.)
(Enters Calypso and Robinson, they wobble about as the ship starts to sink.)
Robinson: Calypso, look. The ships wheel has fallen off, that must be what has caused all this rocking.
(The pair take a closer look at the damage.)
Calypso: Oh no it’s broken off. We need help to fix it and quick. Robinson where’s your mother?
(Enters Mrs Crusoe on a moveable platform, in front of her is a table with a keyboard and computer screen on it.)
Mrs Crusoe: Right here darling. Just poking people...
Mrs Crusoe: I’m poking my friends on FaceBook.
Captain: Phew! Right listen Maggie, the wheel has come loose and if we don’t fix it we’ll sink.
Robinson: Is there anything we can do?
Mrs Crusoe: (Mrs Crusoe types on the keyboard.) Computer says no!
Captain: Do we have any hope of survival?
Mrs Crusoe: (Mrs Crusoe types on the keyboard again.) Computer says no!
Robinson: Are we going to sink?
Mrs Crusoe: (Mrs Crusoe types on the keyboard, again.) (Like Churchill.) Oh yes!
(Enters Zara, Alice, Gaston and the sailors.)
Gaston: Calypso, what’s wrong, why’s the ship rocking?
Calypso: The wheel has broken off, the ships going to sink.
All: Oh no!
Mrs Crusoe: Oh yes!
All: Oh no!
(The Eastenders ‘dun-dun’ music is played.)
(There is a crashing of waves and everyone falls to the ground as the ship starts to sink, smoke filters onto the stage and there is some loud thunder and lightning, the lights flicker and the ship starts to fall apart.)
Alice: We’re going to drown. I can’t swim!
Calypso: Keep close to me I’m a strong swimmer. Uh....help! I’m going overboard! (Calypso falls overboard.)
Mrs Crusoe: Calypso, I’ll save you.
(The smoke now engulfs all onboard. Sword and Cutlass enter. Debris falls and the lights fade and start to flicker. The Jaws theme tune is played and the cast sway back and forth as the ship tips from side to side. Everyone starts to scream and some of the sailors disappear. The ships mast crashes down on those below.)
Robinson: Mum! Mum. Help!
Mrs Crusoe: Robinson hold my hand.
Alice: Robinson help me!
Robinson: Alice, hold my other hand.
Mrs Crusoe: I think I’ve wet myself!
Robinson: No that’s the water rising upwards.
Mrs Crusoe: Jing’s, crivens, help ma bob!
Zara: I’ve just got out of the water and now I’m going back in it.
Robinson: Boys and girls help us, please.
Gaston: There’s nothing they can do. The end is nigh!
All: (Screaming loudly) Help!
(All exit and the lights fade, but a spotlight lights up Mrs Crusoe who appears from the thick smoke. After the song ends Mrs Crusoe exits and there is a blackout.)
Scene 5: In The Deep Near Banana Island
Characters: Sparkle, Calypso, Mrs Crusoe, Robinson, Alice, Zara and Gaston
(This scene is all based under the sea, on the sea floor. Some set and lighting changes will be required to be made quickly between characters entering and leaving the stage. The stage hands moving the set can be hidden by wearing black and/or making the scene, as a whole, very dark.)
(Enters Sparkle on a piece of the now wrecked ship.)
Sparkle: Hello boys and girls. As you can see the evil Blackheart has achieved what he wanted even though he is lost at sea and presumed dead. His helpers, Sword and Cutlass, are to blame for the shipwreck that has put all of our friends in danger. They have been split up and the power of the tide is sending them in all different directions, if only my power was strong enough to save them and I fear they may not make it to Banana Island and claim what is rightfully theirs. Even though my power is weak, I will push on to save all aboard the Crusoe’s Ship. I must go boys and girls; I must try to save them.
(Sparkle exits. Mrs Crusoe, Robinson and Calypso enter. Robinson’s clothes are torn and ripped; Captain Calypso’s clothes are also torn and ripped. Mrs Crusoe is now wearing a completely new costume consisting of a snorkel, trunks, goggles and flippers and her handbag, she makes a noise like Darth Vader’s breathing.)
Robinson: Mum. Stop making that ridicules noise. I’m trying to think of a plan to save everyone.
Mrs Crusoe: (Taking the snorkel out of her mouth.) Robinson, not everyone can be a hero.
Robinson: Well I’m going to try and be one at least.
Calypso: Good on you Robinson. Now how exactly are we going to save everyone? The seas very deep and we’re miles away from shore.
Robinson: We aren’t that far away from land, we were very close to an island when we sank. But I don’t know what direction it is in because of the current pushing us in all directions. But I thought we could find some friendly fish who could give us all a ride on their backs back to land.
Mrs Crusoe: This isn’t Finding Nemo, Robinson. This is more like Free Willy, because there’s a massive whale right behind you!
(A piece of set made to represent a whale is pushed onstage. Its mouth is open wide, showing its massive teeth.)
Calypso: Alright everyone just stay calm.
Mrs Crusoe: How can we do that with big Willy here... (Re-thinking what she has just said)...I mean that whale swimming right there with its massive teeth grinning at us like the Joker? (She does an impression of the Joker from the Batman films)
Robinson: Calypso it looks like it’s going to eat us.
Mrs Crusoe: Oh no it’s not.
(Mrs Crusoe goes towards the whale and whacks it with her handbag; the whale gets angry and makes a loud moan.)
Calypso: Maggie, now you’ve really got him angry!
(The whale comes towards the three of them. It starts to suck them in and unfortunately Robinson has no grip and is nearly sucked inside the whale.)
Robinson: Help Mum! Help!!
Mrs Crusoe: Let him go you big mass of blubber! (She hits the whale again with her handbag.)
(The whale gets even angrier and sucks even harder, Robinson begins to lose his grip.)
Robinson: Help Sparkle! Help! (He’s sucked inside the whale.) Mum, I’ll be alright. Save the others, please!
Mrs Crusoe: Give him back you big Willy.
Calypso: Run! It’s coming after us.
(The whale chases Mrs Crusoe and Calypso off stage and it seems to laugh at them in amusement.)
(The lights flicker, Alice enters but falls to the ground. Alice lies on the floor, Zara and Gaston run in and find her.)
Zara: Alice are you ok? Hello. Alice! Wake up.
Alice: (Wakening.) Oh, my head.
Gaston: Can you walk?
Alice: Yes. It’s just my head; I’m dizzy. I’m seeing stars...oh no, wait a minute, there fish, not stars.
Gaston: You’re under the sea Alice, that’s why you’re seeing fish!
Alice: So the ship sunk? We’re going to die!
Zara: Yes. The ship sunk, all the crew where thrown overboard. The ships a wreck and the powerful currents are taking us in all directions, but we are not going to die!
Gaston: We need to find land and quick.
Zara: Ok, follow me. I have a good sense of direction. Right were going this way!
Gaston: Zara I don’t think we should be going that way. We need to go this way.
Zara: And how would you know?
Gaston: I would say but I don’t think you’d be too pleased about it.
Zara: I promise I won’t get angry, so come on and tell me.
Gaston: I’m a man and men know best. Women have no sense of direction.
Zara: Why you little...
(The lights fade and all exit.)
(Lights up, enters Mrs Crusoe and Calypso.)
Calypso: Phew. We’ve got rid of Free Willy. (Noticing Mrs Crusoe who is crying.) He’ll be alright Maggie. He’ll tickle the whale’s tonsils and it will spit him out, like in Pinocchio.
Mrs Crusoe: That’s just a story, do you really believe that if you tickle a whale’s tonsils it will spit you out and you’ll survive?
Calypso: No not really, but it’s worth a try.
Mrs Crusoe: It’s no use; he’s gone just like Frank. All the men in my life leave me.
Calypso: I’ve not left you.
Mrs Crusoe: Just you wait, you’ll leave me in the end.
Calypso: I won’t leave you, I’ll never leave you... (a piece of seaweed catches onto Calypso and pulls him offstage, Mrs Crusoe turns round to see that he has gone.)
Mrs Crusoe: I told him. I knew he would leave me in the end. Ooh, here I am, all alone, once more! Just like at school; ‘no pals Maggie’ they used to shout. They just thought it was funny, and thought I was funny looking.
Calypso: Sorry about that Maggie, this piece of seaweed pulled me away and when I pulled myself free, I found this.
(Calypso holds up a sign saying ‘To Banana Island’, with a big red arrow pointing in the direction of the island.)
Mrs Crusoe: We’re in luck.
Calypso: Well come on then.
(The pair hold hands and exit.)
(Enters Alice, Zara and Gaston. Alice is trying to break up Zara and Gaston’s fight.)
Alice: Get off of each other, now!
Zara: No! He’s getting what he deserves.
(Zara smacks Gaston and he falls to the ground.)
Alice: See, look what you’ve done! Gaston, are you okay?
Zara: Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry Gaston.
Gaston: (Getting up.) It’s okay. I shouldn’t of said what I said.
Alice: Right come on, let’s get out of here, this way.
(They go to exit but their path is blocked.)
Gaston: All the debris from the wreck’s blocked the way, let’s go the other way.
(They turn round to go the other way but the whale is there waiting for them.)
Zara: Something tells me that’s not a statue.
Gaston: Fear not young ladies for Gaston shall slay the dragon...eh whale.
(Gaston picks up a rock and throws it at the whale and it seems to retreat with fright.)
Alice: Gaston throw another one. It seems to scare it away.
(Gaston picks up another rock and throws it at the whale.)
Gaston: Get lost you silly, squishy, blubbery beast!
(Gaston then picks up one more rock throwing it at the whale, making it swim away.)
Zara: Well done. That scared it off. Now where will we go?
Gaston: (He turns his back to where the whale was.) Well I think we should... (Suddenly the whale charges towards Gaston. But it stops just in time.)
Alice: Gaston watch out! It’s trying to mow you down. Aaaah!
(Zara picks up a stone and throws it at the whale. Nothing happens.)
Alice: We need to stop the whale, if we don’t it will run him over.
(The whale charges at Gaston, he moves out of the way and the whale goes crashing into the debris from the ship. The debris falls scaring away the whale and trapping Gaston.)
Gaston: I can’t grip for much longer. I can’t keep this up, it’s going to fall and crush me. I’ve got to do it now, at least this way I won’t regret it. Bye... (Gaston lets the debris fall on top of him.) Bye...(Gaston slips away under the debris.)
Alice: No...No, you can’t!
Zara: We don’t have time to say our goodbye’s Alice, if we don’t go now it will get us. Alice we’re going to have to run. This way, quick.
(The pair exit through the audience. The lights flicker.)
Robinson: Hello boys and girls. Am I glad to see you? I bet you thought I was a goner. I decided to go with the flow, then the next thing I knew this big heavy object hit the side of the whale making me go POP! Right out of the whale’s...you know where! But big Free Willy swallowed me whole, so it was tight squeeze on the exit. Sorry about the smell by the way, anybody got a can of lynx? (Audience reaction.) Actually that won’t help its reeking! But at least I’m alive. Have you seen my mum? (Audience reaction.) Where? (Audience reaction.) Where? (Audience reaction.) What that way? (He points in the direction that Mrs Crusoe and Calypso exited.). Well I better go that way then.
Sparkle: Robinson, wait.
Robinson: Hello Sparkle, I thought I would never see you again.
Sparkle: No, I survived and without my help you and all onboard the ship would not of survived. Unfortunately Gaston was defeated by a whale, but I have managed to save everyone else.
Robinson: Thank you Sparkle. Will you come with me to Banana Island?
Sparkle: I would love too but as I said I cannot stay out of the water for long. I shall still be here though, watching encase you need any help. Now you go, find your mum and Calypso and find that treasure.
Robinson: I will. Bye Sparkle.
Sparkle: One last thing Robinson. This island is not deserted; there is a small population on it. Be sure to make friends with them, not enemies or they may not let you take the treasure. It is of course their island, not yours!
Robinson: I will be kind. Are there any hot girls on the island?
Sparkle: Well. There is this one girl. Her name may not be common, her clothes may not be from New Look or Primark. But she is beautiful. Her name is Dee-Dee.
Robinson: Can you show me her. So I know who to look for?
Sparkle: Yes. Just a moment I must get my ‘Magical Mermaid Mirror’. (She takes the mirror from her tail.) Robinson this is a magical mirror, it has powers greater than those held by the Gene of the lamp or the Slave of the Ring. You must not drop it. Now look inside it. (She passes the mirror to Robison.) Now all you to do is ask the mirror to show you what you want to see.
Robinson: Ok. Here goes, please mirror can you show me who Dee-Dee is?
Voice Of the Mirror: Of course Robinson. Close your eyes and I shall show you what you wish to see.
Robinson: Ok. I am ready.
(The curtains open to reveal Banana Island; behind, in the distance we can see the shipwreck and the sea. Smoke seeps onto the stage no higher than knee height; it swirls round Dee-Dee who is standing centre stage wearing old cloth as clothing and holding a spear.)
Robinson: Wow! She’s beautiful!
Sparkle: Wait till you here her sing!
(The curtains close, Robinson gives Sparkle back the mirror.)
Robinson: Holy mackerel! I know what I’m looking for, hot girl, great voice and a pair of big...hands! Thanks mirror.
The Voice Of The Mirror: You’re quiet welcome Robinson. And before you go I need to ask a favour. Give Dee-Dee a squeeze of the hand from me.
Robinson: I sure will. Okay I’ve got to go, see you later Sparkle. Bye! (He runs off.)
Sparkle: (Shouting after him.) So what do you think of her?
Robinson: She’s HOT!
Sparkle: Typical hot blooded male!
(Robison runs off, Sparkle exits.)
Scene 6: The Shore Of Banana Island
Characters: Calypso, Mrs Crusoe, Robinson, Blackheart, Dee-Dee, Sparkle, Susie, Sword, Cutlass and the Islanders
(The curtains open to reveal Banana Island. (This is the same set used for Dee-Dee’s first appearance in Act 1, but now we can see it clearer.) The platform used on the ship is still where it was, covered in foliage. Stairs lead up to the platform and either side of the stairs is a palm tree. Behind, in the distance we can see the shipwreck and the sea. Dee-Dee and the islanders are huddled round a camp fire.)
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